


Yeehaw!

by dolce_piccante



Series: Relief Next To Me [4]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Dirty Talk, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 15:39:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6811396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dolce_piccante/pseuds/dolce_piccante
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Both Louis and Harry are out of town on business trips. Thank God for hotel rooms, telephones, and active imaginations!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yeehaw!

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer: This is a work of complete fiction. Never happened, not real, no offense is intended, no profit is being made. Absolutely does not reflect upon the real life people mentioned in this fictional story. The story, and its characters, belong to me. Please do not repost anywhere and do not print/distribute. Please do not translate my story, as I am not authorizing translations at this time. This is all meant to be just silly fun.**
> 
>  
> 
> This drabble was written as a gift for [healthylivingharry](http://healthylivingharry.tumblr.com), who won first prize in the Escapade presale giveaway! Her request was phone sex and mentioned the RNTM farmer conversation, so here we are :)
> 
> Thank you to [Jess](http://whitechimes.tumblr.com) for being a fab beta. Send lots of love and hugs her way!
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Louis leaned back against his hotel room door. The quiet sound of a room service cart wheeled in the distance, and his stomach rumbled in response. He let his neck relax until his head knocked on the wood, exhaling slowly. He pushed away from the door and peeled off his suit jacket, the material wilting around his ankles. He kicked his shoes off to tangle in his jacket and marched to bed.

His job came with many wonderful perks. He had zero complaints about his salary or creative opportunities, but travel and meetings didn’t stand a chance against time with Harry. This business trip to Sheffield, however, he didn’t have his fiancee waiting for him at their flat. Harry was wrapping up a short appearance tour to promote a new batch of flavours for his Bluebell Ice Cream line in gourmet food shops. 

They were scheduled to meet up the next day in Doncaster to spend the weekend with his family. Family time was always a plus, but being sleepy, stressed, and horny while under the same roof as his mum and siblings sounded like torture after not spending the night with Harry for over a week. He ran the risk of coming in his sleep just from feeling Harry’s weight against him, or smelling Harry’s hair or hearing Harry’s snore. Who knew snores could cause orgasms?

Louis fell forward on his bed. The next day, all he had was a goodbye brunch to attend before he could head home. For now, he needed to figure out if he would order room service or a pizza. Business dinners made of tiny, beautifully plated food always left him hungry later that night. 

He hugged a pillow to his face and used his feet to tug off his socks. He reached out for the leatherbound menu propped on his bedside table, but nudged it too hard, sending it tumbling to the carpet. He flopped down and quietly sobbed, “Pizza.” His phone vibrated in his back pocket. Louis clenched his bum cheeks and wiggled, reaching into his pocket to retrieve the phone. He checked the screen and smiled, then tapped Accept. “Well, well, well. Nine-oh-two. Aren’t you prompt?”

“I might have set an alert on my phone that you’d be back in your room at nine,” Harry admitted. “I gave myself two minutes to jog around the room and work some excitement off before I rang you.”

Louis took a deep breath in on a yawn and curled on his side. “Hi. Miss you.”

“Miss you, too,” Harry said, quiet and deep. “You hungry?”

“How’d you know?”

“Can hear your stomach talking. And you’re always hungry after business dinners.”

Louis chuckled and shimmied to the edge of the bed. “Yeah, I’m hungry.” He swiped his hand on the floor three times before he grabbed the room service menu, then placed it flat on the bed. He flipped it open, scanning down the list of items. “What do you think I should do, chef? Pizza delivery or room service?”

“Hmm. That’s quite a decision.” Louis could practically see the scrunched, thoughtful furrow of his brows. “Well, we’re probably going to make homemade pizzas with the girls tomorrow.”

“True.”

“And you are on Simon’s tab.”

“Say no more.” Louis swirled his finger until it landed on a menu item. “Steak it is. Maybe a baked potato, as well.”

“Go for it.”

“Hold on. Gotta call.” 

Louis put Harry on speaker and rested his mobile on the bed before picking up the hotel phone. Harry remained silent, save for a quiet kitten yawn, while Louis placed his order. 

“Cheers, thanks, see you then,” Louis said into the hotel phone. He stretched to replace it on its cradle, then grabbed his iPhone. “Back.”

Harry deeply cooed, “Ooh la la.”

“What?” Louis laughed as he rolled onto his back. “What’s up?”

“You ordered chocolate mousse? You? Dessert?”

“I heard your voice and suddenly I’m famished.” He stretched his legs towards the bottom of the bed until his thighs burned, his toes pointed. He released his stretch and grunted. “I might miss you or something.”

“You tired? Today was your long day, right?”

Louis ruffled his hair. “Eh. I’m a little tired, but also kind of wired. It was a fun day, even if it was long.” He swung his legs over the bed. “Wanna listen to me pee or should I call back?”

“Pee, please.”

Harry accompanied Louis while he used the toilet, washed up, and changed clothes, both chatting quietly about their days. Once he was done in the en suite, Louis sat cross-legged on the end of the bed and flicked around the television with the sound muted.

“You watching anything good?” Louis asked. “I think my hotel gets HBO.”

“Nah. Just the news. Did your food arrive yet?”

“No, it probably won’t be here for at least forty minutes or so.” Louis scratched his ankle. “The guy said they’re swamped.”

“What are you wearing?”

“Gray sweats and your orange tank.”

“Ah ha,” Harry sang in his low baritone. “I wondered if you nicked my shirt. Little thief.”

“Will you ever be able to forgive me?” Louis asked with a sigh.

“Considering I’m currently wearing a pair of your pants, I think we’ll weather this storm.”

Louis laughed and rubbed his knee while changing channels. “Which ones?”

“The purple ones.”

“Oh yeah?” Louis dropped the remote on the bed. “Now I can say ‘Ooh la la’ to you.” 

“Why?”

“Bet they look hot on you.”

“Not as hot as they look on you.”

Louis swirled his fingers on the duvet. His lashes cast shadows over his cheekbones as he listened to Harry breathe. “Baby?”

“Mmm?”

“Want to…talk?”

Harry paused a moment. “T-Talk?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Yeah, fuck yeah, always, but—” Harry stopped blurting out words, his shallow breaths audible through the phone. He cleared his throat. “Aren’t you tired?”

“Not for you. Not for that. If we’re quick, we can have some fun before my steak gets here.”

There was another short pause, the sound of fabric shifting from Harry’s end of the conversation. “Alright. What do you want to talk about?”

Louis laid back and propped one hand behind his head, bending his knees to rest his feet on the bed. “Wanna do...hmm...that rent boy one?”

“That was so fun when we did it, but I feel like we need to give that scenario a break or else it’ll get played out.”

“Very true. Umm…Priest and villain?” 

“Also hot, but I felt a bit weird the next time I went to church with my nan. I shouldn’t be aroused at the thought of you as a priest.”

Louis nibbled his bottom lip, his shoulders jumping with huffed laughs. “Fair enough. Hmm. Maybe we should avoid sci-fi. Vampires nearly killed us.”

Harry said, “Yeah, we still got it done, but,” until he started laughing properly, his words growing messy and uneven as Louis laughed harder. “When our conversation veered into possible safety issue of rimjobs if the vampire got so turned on that their fangs popped out, I thought I was going to actually die from laughing.”

“I know,” Louis giggled, dabbing tears away from his eyelashes. “I was blushing the entire time at my next dentist’s appointment just thinking about teeth.”

“How about,” Harry said, holding out the word. He clucked his tongue a few times. “Cowboys?”

Louis’ cheeks warmed, his smile growing. He ran one hand over his stomach. “Old school.”

“What do you think?”

Louis looked at the door and moved his hand lower, palming himself through his sweats. “Sounds good to me.” He listened to Harry shifting through the phone. “You in bed?”

“Mmhmm. You?”

“On the bed, yeah. You in anything but my pants?”

“Blue jeans. Red flannel shirt. Cowboy hat.”

“Wow, just jumping right in with the cowboy roleplay. Alright, then.” 

“I’ve got work to do on the farm. No time to waste.”

The sound of Harry’s voice brought a rush of tingles to the surface of Louis’ skin, his tingles emerging in a smattering of light giggles. He stretched on his back, rubbing himself a touch firmer and curling his toes into the bedding. “So?” Louis gripped the head of his cock through his sweats, thumbing lazily around the bulge. “What can I do for you, cowboy?”

“Just checking to make sure you’re on schedule.”

Louis hummed as he tried to think of which path their role play journey would follow. Would it be a quick fuck in the hay? Or would Harry’s creative side emerge and they’d end up fantasizing about having a holiday that could include horseback riding and lots of green, grassy fields?

“You’re always peeking in on me when I’m working in the barn.” Louis threw a bit of extra pluck into his voice. “Don’t you trust me, farm boy?”

“Working? You? Psh. I…” Louis could see Harry’s growing smile from his held out phrases, practically able to see the wheels turning in Harry’s head to figure out his next line. “You, uh…”

“You what? Spit it out already.”

“I had to repair half the fence this morning, which you were supposed to do yesterday, but instead you fell asleep in the stables with the horses.”

“Did I?” Louis breezed.

“The sheep almost escaped.”

“Those poor sheep. And you poor, poor thing.” Louis heard Harry shift through the phone and he stuck his hand down the front of his pants. “Having to replace the fence. You must be exhausted.” Louis pumped himself slowly. “That why you’re all red in the face? Why you’re so sweaty?”

“Yeah,” Harry breathed. He cleared his throat and repeated, “Yeah,” amidst the rhythmic sound of skin on skin.

Louis nibbled his lip for a beat and shut his eyes as he wanked, listening to Harry’s roughened breaths as the skin sounds went faster.  
Images of Harry jerking off made fresh sweat prickle his skin and illuminated the film screen in his brain. Was he sprawled on the bed, bottomless but still wearing his shirt? Or had he lost all his clothes and curled on his side under the covers? Were his stomach muscles clenching each upstroke like they did when Louis’ mouth was teasing the underside of his cock? Was he giving his head extra-firm squeezes, smearing salty pre-come on his thumb and licking it every few strokes?

“Lou?”

“Sorry, right, yeah,” Louis blurted out, his eyes fluttering open. “It, uh—” He squirmed and picked up his rhythm, pre-come wet on his palm. “You visiting the barn doesn’t have anything to do with me wanking in your precious hay, does it?”

“You’re being awfully cheeky today.”

“That’s ‘cause you haven’t fucked me proper in forever. You’ve been too busy with your bloody cows.”

Quietly, Harry murmured, “That’s what you want? Me to fuck you?”

“Always. C’mon, baby. Come and get me.” Sweetness softened Louis’ tone, his diction borderline kittenish. “Put that rope to good use.”

Harry chuckled and shifted, his voice louder as the phone bumped against his mouth. “Ah. So that’s why you’re being so sassy. You want me to tie you up?”

“Mmm,” Louis hummed, jerking himself faster. He used one foot to pull the ankle of his sweats down, his upper thighs kissed by cool air. “Do it. Why else are you wearing that ridiculous outfit and your silly little lasso?”

“I’m a cowboy, love.”

“You could have fooled me.”

“Maybe I should hogtie you,” Harry said, his tempo a slow drawl. Louis inhaled through his nose and rolled onto his side, crossing his ankles and lifting his knees towards his chest. His hand sped up, and he could hear Harry jerking himself faster even as his voice slid through the phone like fresh honey. “Then leave you there for a while to think about how much of a tease you are.”

“So fucking do it.”

“You mean you don’t want me to bend you over my saddle and tie your hands behind your back? Eat you out for a while like last time?”

“Jesus Christ, Harry,” Louis half laughed, half groaned, pushing his face into his pillow. “Sorry to break character, but, fuck.” He jerked himself faster. “You’re getting me so hot.”

“Am I? I’m nervous." Some of the grit melted away from his voice. “You’re usually the main talker and you’re so good at it.”

“No, no, you’re doing amazing, love. So good. You make me crazy.” Harry moaned something lost over the phone and Louis smiled, his strokes shifting to slower, deeper pulls of his throbbing cock. “Is that it, cowboy? You want praise?”

“N-No.”

“You sure? Maybe you’re the one who wants to get lassoed today, hm?”

“Lou,” Harry whimpered, the skin on skin clicks speeding up. “Fuck, Lou. Keep talking. Almost there.”

Louis looked down at himself and nodded, even if Harry couldn’t see him or his angry, flushed cock. “Yeah, love, me too. Gonna…” He licked his lips. “Want you to come over here and sit on my fucking face.”

“Yeah?” Harry panted for a beat before asking, “Then what?”

“Then I’m gonna—” Louis’ eyes scrunched shut, the image flickering through his head a familiar one, only this time their roles were reversed. “Then I’m gonna wrap that stupid rope around your wrists and hold them down. Above your head.”

“Dunno if you could lasso me.”

“I know I could.”

“You can barely handle rounding up the donkeys.”

Louis’ eyes opened. “Are we really veering from sex to fictional ranching skills? I’m fucking hard here, baby.”

“Me too,” Harry said, laughter peeking through his words. “Alright. Keep going.”

Louis breathed for a moment, squeezing the wet head of his cock and peering up at the ceiling. “Then I’d...Then I’d just kiss you.” He heard Harry groan roughly. Louis’ thumb dug into his slit, his hand tightening around his head. “I’d kiss you all over. Lap up every bead of sweat and bite every soft bit of you. Lick every hard bit and suck every tender bit. ‘Cause I—I fucking miss you so much.”

“Lou,” Harry murmured, a hint of a whine weakening his tone. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Fuck,” Louis swore on a laugh, jerking himself rapidly and shutting his eyes. “We can’t even make it through one cowboy scene without breaking character.”

Rushed, Harry gasped out, “I just love you so much.”

Louis’ chest heaved beneath Harry’s damp tank, his arm starting to ache. “I’m so fucking close.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, are you cl—” There was a knock at the door. Louis’ eyes popped open and his strokes paused. “Oh, f-fuck.”

“Did you just come?”

“No, my room service is here.” He hurried to shove his cock back into his pants, hiking his sweats up, then held the phone away from his mouth and called, “Just a second!” He jumped off the bed and ran into the en suite, his phone balanced between his cheek and shoulder. “Sorry, babe, I gotta go. Gotta wash my hands and wrap something around me.”

“I think you should answer the door.”

Louis shoved his hands under the sink, wincing at the visible tent of his sweats. “I will, I just want to shield my boner from—”

“I think,” Harry said, two soft knocks sounding in rhythm with his words. “You should.” Another two knocks. “Answer the door.”

Louis’ eyes widened as he stared out of the en suite. Four knocks matched each of Harry’s syllables. Louis moved away from the sink without speaking, the water still running. His feet carried him across the soft carpet. He wiped his hands on the thighs of his wrinkled sweats, cradling the phone with his shoulder.

“Well?” Harry's drawled, deep voice carried through the phone as something gently tapped the door for the length of his single word. “Are you going to ask who it is?”

Louis threw the door open and giggled, “What are you doing here!?” as he reached out for Harry. He paused and squinted, his hands mid-air.

His gaze flickered from Harry’s brown leather boots to the white cowboy hat on his head, made a stop at the glimmering metal band on his ring finger, then rose to his dimpled, smiling face. Louis laughed louder, flattening his palm on his forehead, and stared at the bundle of rope neatly wound into a circle and attached to Harry’s blue jeans. His jeans were so tight Louis could see the outline of his swollen cock running down the top of his thigh, a thin blue bandana looped around his neck. His red plaid shirt hung half unbuttoned and tucked into his trousers, fresh sweat dappling the dip of his throat.

Louis backed into the room and whispered, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Harry stepped inside and kicked the door shut, grinning boyishly. “Howdy, partner.”

Louis launched himself through the air with arms outstretched. Harry caught him around the waist, swung him up, and held him tightly, Louis' legs wrapping around his bum. “Oh fuck, baby,” Louis said, his words muffled by Harry’s lips. He gripped the back of Harry’s shirt and shimmied higher, Harry squeezing his arse with one hand. “How’d you do this?”

“I knew you’d be as horny as I was.” Harry frantically kissed down Louis’ neck and walked to the bed, then fell forward. Louis bounced backwards, pulling Harry on top by his shiny silver belt buckle. “Just had to guide us in the cowboy direction.”

“But the room? What did you—Were you just fucking jerking off in the hallway!?”

“No,” Harry laughed, “I have a room one floor up.”

Louis pressed a searing kiss to Harry’s mouth, the grip on his hair knocking Harry’s cowboy hat off. “But your job, what about that?”

“Gonna commute to the tasting tomorrow, then swing back to get you before your mum’s.”

Louis gripped Harry’s hair like the reins on a horse and tugged. “I can’t believe you did this!”

“I love surprising you—mmrph—and we aren’t going to have alone time for days,” Harry said between kisses, his lips mashed to Louis’ chin. “This is for both of our sakes.”

“God,” Louis gasped, rolling Harry onto his back. He pulled his tank off. “I fucking love you.”

Harry bucked up and held Louis by the shoulders. He flipped Louis over until he was on his back. Louis reached up and pulled his shirt open, buttons pinging off the furniture. Harry straddled him, moving his hips with the slowness of someone getting used to a thoroughbred, his abs flexing beneath his billowing shirt.

“You love me?” Harry took his rope off his belt loop and smirked crookedly, then snapped the rope between both hands. “Even if I’m a better cowboy?”

Louis gripped the headboard and smiled wide. “Show me, partner.”

. . .

Ten minutes later, a room service attendant named Stevie wheeled his cart down the hallway. Two other employees were standing outside Room 431, both leaning towards the door with their hands muffling laughter. He checked the order number for Room 431 and pulled up beside the door.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he hissed to the employees, shooing them away with his white-gloved hand. “You’re gonna get us in trouble.”

“Shut up, they’re almost done!” an employee whispered.

“Who?”

“The hot cowboy that checked-in tonight. We think he’s a rent boy.”

Stevie opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a deep voice crying out, “Fuck!” from within the room, a headboard slapping against the wall. All three employees leaned close enough for their ears to brush the door.

“So close,” a softer voice moaned amidst the headboard bangs. “Oh, fuck, just—” The banging noises sped up. “Just like that, that’s so—”

The deep voice babbled out, “That’s it. So good. So good at this.” A sharp spanking sound pinged through the door. “Such a good—Fucking ride me.”

“Yee-fucking-haw, f-farm boy.”

Laughter mixed in with their moans until the banging sounds grew frantic, their breaths rough and wild enough to carry through the door. Stevie’s eyes widened as their orgasmic cries harmonized for a moment, until one grunted nasally while the other panted breathy, high sighs.

“We just wanted to wait for them to finish,” an employee named Mike whispered, the other employee, Jackson, snorting into his hand. “I think they’re done.”

“Yee-fucking-haw,” the deep voice slowly laughed inside the room, sounding winded. His partner laughed along with him, their quiet chatter too soft to be understood through the door.

“They’re done, so get out of here,” Stevie whispered to the nosy employees. He checked his watch. “I don’t need to get in trouble for late delivery because of you two pervs.”

Stevie waited for Mike and Jackson to be in the stairwell before he exhaled. He checked the room service ticket one more time and muttered, “I’m not paid enough for this shit.” He knocked on the door and gently called, “Room service.”

He heard rustling around inside the room and braced himself. The door swung open.

“Hi!” A man with sparkly blue eyes smiled at him. Sweat glistened on the centre of his bare, lightly-haired chest and his flushed cheekbones. He had a red flannel shirt wrapped around his waist but the shirt was backwards, the longer part serving as a loin cloth to cover his groin. A thin blue bandana hung around his neck. “Thanks so much for delivering so late.”

“Erm, yeah, sure.” Stevie tore his gaze away from the tall, leanly muscled man longing on the centre of the mussed bed. He had one arm propped behind his head while he channel-surfed, nothing but a white cowboy hat perched on his groin and a length of rope dangling from the headboard. “I mean, uh, of course, sir.”

The man on the bed looked his way and smiled. “Hey.”

“H-Hi,” Stevie stuttered, his cheeks aflame. The blue-eyed man chuckled easily and handed over a cash tip. “Right, thanks, uh—” Stevie wheeled the cart two steps into the room, then backed away. “May I bring you anything else, sir?”

“No, that’s alright, thanks.” The man started closing the door as he said, “Have a good—” A loop of rope soared through the air and wrapped around him. “Harry,” he laughed, glancing over his shoulder, the rope around his chest at bicep height and pinning his arms to his side. “We’ve got compan—” The rope tightened and tugged him backwards. Pride radiated off of his glowing face. “Wow! You actually did practice!”

Stevie pulled the door shut and jogged down the hall, a distant cry of, “Yeeeeehawwww!” only making his steps speed up.


End file.
